May is a time of spring fairs, celebrations and maypole twirling – at least it was, once upon a time. These days we are more likely to pay a visit to the local shopping centre to stock up on DIY supplies.

I suppose it all depends who you are and what lights you up, which is the subject of this month’s column. What type of parent are you, and does it light you up?

Parenting is, by its very nature, an endless and often exhausting affair, with sleepless nights punctuated by feeding routines. It can easily become overwhelming, especially if you are flying solo, without extended family nearby to help you.

Our ‘parenting style’ goes a long way to nurturing not only our little ones, but our own spirits, too. If we are constantly worried, tense and fearful of perceived dangers, we will inevitably become an anxious parent, prone to hovering and, worse, always ‘saving’ our children from anything which might present itself as challenging or difficult. Not a fun ride for anybody!

Alternatively, if we are so laid back and trusting, believing our children ‘learn from experience’ no matter what that experience may be, we might offer little to no interaction or care around their struggles, and we could be perceived as unloving, uncaring and, in some cases, neglectful.

There is evidently a fine line to be drawn and therefore this is an important topic to explore.

Helping children to grow up healthy and happy

All children need to feel safe, loved and valued, so paying attention, reacting to their cues and offering physical and emotional support is vital to help them grow up healthy and happy.

In parallel to this, children need freedom to explore, to make mistakes, even fall down and pick themselves up again (both physically and metaphorically), in order to learn that they are indeed strong and resilient.

They should have the opportunity to make big decisions, and we can help by outlining the potential outcomes so that they can make informed choices. All in an age-appropriate way, of course.

As a parent you can also give your children space to ‘try’ and do for themselves as much as they are possibly able to do, before offering to assist, rather than simply taking over, which reinforces the message that they are not capable.

Being available to guide and encourage, to demonstrate and observe, and to offer the warmest of hugs no matter what the outcome, pretty much encapsulates the ideal scenario, I feel. This will foster not only independent, capable children, but will light us up inside to see our children thriving under our eye rather than under our control.

May you have the best fun this month and enjoy the sunshine – you deserve it!