By the age of 4 you know your little one well and, maybe, something just doesn’t feel right? Your child won’t look you in the eye, prefers to play alone and gets easily agitated in company. Maybe you are getting a little concerned that their ‘love of trains’ has developed into something of an obsession, and although they can reel off the names and numbers of over 100 engines, you rarely manage to engage them in a conversation without one of you ending up frustrated.

What should you be looking out for before they start school? And when should you reach out to your health professionals for advice and guidance? It is often between nursery and primary school that parents begin to observe traits often associated with the autistic spectrum and Asperger syndrome. Below are some signs that could be indicators of autism.

Plays well with others
Does your child engage freely with other children? Can they imagine scenarios and adapt easily to an ever-changing landscape of play? Children with Aspergers in particular may struggle with ‘free play’, preferring to cling to what they know – a favourite character or toy, repeating lines from their favourite cartoon or being unwilling to change pace within a game.

Conversations – a two-way street
Do they talk about their passion repeatedly – whether you engage with them or not – yet find it near impossible to converse with you about other subjects? Maybe they repeat lists and details yet cannot answer a simple question such as ‘what would you like for a snack?’ The frustration you feel can be a red flag and is worth following up – trust your instinct!

My child is gifted
Often a child can appear gifted in one area yet fail to thrive in others. Being great at maths and science, yet hardly grasping the concept of lining up for lunch or taking turns in PE can be great indicators that things are not quite as they seem.

A bad loser
Kids on the autism spectrum thrive on rules and routine and will often react very badly if someone else wasn’t playing fair. They take things literally and for these kids, a promise is a promise. Break yours at your peril! They can also be highly critical of others – so strong is their sense of self-righteousness and, of course, if this continues into adulthood, it can cause all sorts of problems.

Avoiding eye contact
One of the earliest red flags for autism is an inability to make eye contact. As they grow these children will be so absorbed in their activity that they will not look up when addressed. Even when they are apparently a captive audience, they will gaze around or focus on a zip or toggle – anything to avoid the penetrating gaze of another pair of eyes.

If you are concerned about your child, talk to your doctor or have a read about autism at www.autism.org.uk/about. Though your child may operate a little differently to others, this isn’t the end of the world – there is plenty of information, advice and support for those who are autistic or care for children who are.