Let’s face it, as parents we are only too aware of the ever-present possibility of the terrible tantrum – from toddlers, tweenies or even the parents! So, what is the best way to prevent tantrums from happening or cope with them when they do? I consulted with parents and experts alike and got their ‘Top Tips for Tantrum Taming’...

Prepare
Prepare for success by keeping kids well fed, watered and rested – most tantrums are triggered by a child’s needs not being met.

Manage expectations
Ensure the child knows exactly what is happening and what is expected from them – how long they must be quiet, wait or sit nicely, before they are free to run around again. Understanding can head confusion-storms off at the pass.

Don’t give in
The ever-popular “I want a toy” tantrum when you are out shopping is best avoided by NOT getting into the ‘buying habit’ at all. In fact, if you can prevent ‘unreasonable expectations’ in the first two years you will set a pattern for life – worth remembering with newborns.

Keep calm
If you are caught out and a storm erupts, the most important thing to do is to keep calm yourself. After all, if your child is struggling with managing their emotions, the last thing they need is for you to lose control of yours. No matter how you may feel – embarrassed, hurt, angry, confused or impatient – if you can take a few deep breaths and fake a smile, the storm should pass fairly swiftly. Either remove yourself from the situation or remove your child from the space into a quiet area, without being overly attentive. Use clear instructions and keep your child informed of what is happening, but do not get into dialogue, much less an argument or a power struggle.

Use positive praise
Remember to use positive praise as soon as possible so your child feels rewarded for their hard work in calming down. Try to shift their attention toward the next activity and, if possible, get your child in the fresh air and out of limiting environments so they can release all their pent-up emotion.

Do not ridicule
Never call names or ridicule your child in front of other parents or children – even said in a light-hearted, teasing manner, comments such as “she’s such a pain”, or worse, “why can’t you be a good boy like Tom?” can cause untold damage in the child’s fragile sense of self.

Family Mission Statement
Remembering your Family Mission Statement at times of chaos can keep you on the straight and narrow – I know families that repeat “We love each other unconditionally” under their breath when the kids kick off. Alternatively, simply mutter “I am doing the best I can” when you feel you are losing the plot.

There is no denying that dealing with loud, strong-willed small people is the hardest job of all, but, when it all comes together and that lady in the park takes you aside to mention ‘how great your kids are playing together’, or ‘how politely they asked for a turn on the ride,’ you will know you are doing a great job and it was all worth it!