Juggling it all?
The baby is crying; the teens are taking exams; your mum’s losing her marbles... How are you supposed to keep all those balls in the air? Family life can sometimes be a real juggling act, so what makes family life easier and happier for all? ‘Structure’ and ‘discipline’ are the unlikely magic words of success.

Whether you are renovating the house, studying for exams or raising a baby, these two words will guide you towards peace of mind and achieving your ambitions. Sound scary? Do you much prefer the words ‘freedom’ or maybe ‘self-guided’? Well, here’s the low down.

New babies have no sense of self so structure (routine) meets all their needs and creates trust within them. As they grow, discipline means following through on what is said – be it what’s for dinner, bedtimes, or consequences of actions, they learn to self- regulate and trust themselves even when they feel out of control. In the formative years (1-7) a mixture of structure and discipline creates self -reliance and self -worth, an understanding of tasks and rewards are seeded, and the child learns that they can create their own outcome, which is priceless.

Lead by example
In the teen years, a mixture of structure (planning) and self -discipline (homework and revision) creates exam success and builds confidence. We all know the chaos resulting from lack of preparation and missing the deadline, and it never feels good. As a parent, you can help instil these two vital aspects of life into your children. Start by leading by example, then offer opportunities for them to create their own – maybe they want to learn a new skill? It takes structure (practice) and discipline (turning up to practice even when you don’t feel like it) to succeed.

For those caring for elderly parents and dealing with the extra pressures of dementia – such a weight of responsibility upon family life – using carefully created structures allows for time spent lovingly with our elders, as well as ensuring basic needs are met. This is vital to maintain dignity in our elders, as well as sanity in carers.

I know it may feel counter-intuitive to bring these words into family life and I realise they may sound harsh, but no one can deny that imposing firm discipline upon oneself as caregiver means all the bills get paid and all the dirty jobs are done, leaving time and space for fun and laughter. In the end, those are the bits we all want to remember.

And relax...
From the cradle to the grave, you can survive whatever life throws at you by simply choosing to embrace a gentle but firm sense of structure and boundaries around family life. Reap the rewards of a disciplined approach to ‘getting things done’ safe in the knowledge that everyone is loved, safe and cared for. Then all you have to do is sit back with a glass of something delicious and pat yourself on the back for a job well done. After all that hard work, you deserve it!