How do you feel about money? I mean really? Are you comfortable with money, love making it and love spending it even more? Are you a scrimper and a saver, or do you have whatever you want whenever you want and think of how to pay for it later? We all have our own ‘Money Personality’ and whether we are aware of it or not, we are training our children in the ways of money – long before they can even talk!

If you struggle with money, having lost a job or gone through a divorce, for example, you may well see money as a challenge, a problem and something to avoid thinking about. That can affect how you think, feel and talk about it around your kids. If you have a great job however, or a wealthy partner, you may be quite frivolous and pay little attention to actions and consequences because, hey, you don’t have to worry, right?

A financial future for your children
Have you considered exactly how you want your kids to grow up around money or what financial future you are creating for them? We all have money-issues to overcome in life, so it is up to us as parents to ensure we are as mindful and conscious as possible around financial responsibility and our children’s future.

The first step is to actually talk about money, in a healthy and open way. Be real about how you make your money and what it takes to ensure the family is well cared for. Whether you are a millionaire or on benefits, this conversation should be honest and upfront – an everyday occurrence rather than a big ‘talk’. After all, in the end everything comes back to money in one way or another.

Secondly, lead by example. Whatever you do will be a model for your children, be it a savings plan, or even a penny jar. Demonstrate discernment in spending choices and encourage your children to budget their own money, differentiating between instant gratification and delayed reward.

Older kids can start to pay their way, and begin to understand the cost of living, not as a punishment but as a life lesson. Encouraging them to earn money to cover their own costs is a great start, and rather than automatically bailing them out when they get in a mess, be willing to sit down and talk about the various ways they can find solutions. If that means you paying out, make sure it is a loan that is repaid regularly and that the commitment is honoured. I promise playing hardball now will save them so much heartache in the future!

The bank of mum and dad
The sad truth is a ‘rescued’ child will inevitably grow up feeling entitled, irresponsible and likely carry those patterns into adulthood. If that’s the case, you may find yourself being the bank of mum and dad for years to come, denying your child the opportunity of creating true independence and standing on their own two feet. So often ‘helping’ is simply ‘enabling dependence’ and ‘refusing’ is actually ‘building resourcefulness’. So think twice before you say ‘yes’ next time, and consider what a gift your strong ‘no’ actually is.