When was the last time you sat in a circle? Not necessarily on the floor crossed legged, but simply sharing a space with like minded others and truly sharing the space? The recent upsurge in Women’s Circles and Men’s groups has shown that circle time is not just for babies.

When we become parents, we sometimes feel a lack of community and belonging in our lives, and circle style groups are one way to overcome this isolation. I personally run a Red Tent Gathering once a month, but you might prefer a weekly coffee morning, a walking group or even a knitting circle. The focus is not so much on the topic or activity as it is on feeling welcomed, embraced, seen and heard. When we sit in a circle (real or imagined) there is no hierarchy and as such everyone has a voice.

Facilitating talking time
It is helpful if there is a facilitator – not a leader – to keep momentum going and ensure everyone has a fair time to speak. Going around the circle in a ritualised way may feel a bit alien at first but after a few gatherings you will soon become accustomed to the format. An opening ‘share’ or ‘checking in ‘ is usual, so you can introduce yourself, and say a little about why you are there, how you are feeling or your intention for the time together. Once everyone has spoken the group can move on to discuss a topic of choice, with a focus on positive and encouraging dialogue rather than sinking into a chronic gossiping session.

If you are spiritually minded then a meditation or prayer is a wonderful way to share silence and softness together, and believe me, if you spend the majority of your time around noisy and demanding children then fifteen minutes of silent focus is sheer bliss!

Bring and share
Often the best bit of circle is the ‘bring and share’ and at our Red Tent we enjoy a brilliant spread every month. Some members cook from scratch, we have vegetarian and vegan offerings, as well as store bought basics and lots of goodies! To gather around the table (or picnic style if you prefer) and fill your plate with deliciousness is a wonderful way to feel loved and cared for.

For men’s groups, more active pursuits are often preferred – this could be a walk in the woods, watching sports, getting down and dirty with wires and switches, a barbecue or even playing five a side with a beer afterwards. The way men bond is different but as the recent National Campaigns have shown us, men need to talk about important things like physical and mental health, and creating a safe space in which to do that could be life saving.

So while you are filling out the diary with play dates for the kids, why not consider scheduling a few in for mum and dad and make sure everyone is getting their needs met. As Jerry Springer used to say: “Take care of yourself, and each other.”