No matter what the time of year, we all find ourselves facing moments of realisation in our lives. That moment when it hits you: something has to change.

Maybe it’s seeing a picture of yourself on holiday and feeling unhappy with your appearance, so deciding to change your look, hair or maybe take up a fitness regime.

Perhaps you smoke or drink and a casual distraction has grown into a rather major habit, leaving you feeling dissatisfied.

Maybe you are at the end of your tether with the behaviour of others in the family (not always the kids, it could be a spouse, sibling or even a parent) and you have had enough!

The list of possibilities is endless and as I have been approached so often in recent months for help with effecting change, I thought I would share some top tips with you, my lovely reader.

Get real

First thing’s first: accept where you are. Whatever you are facing, face it! ‘Know your numbers,’ as they say in the business world. Get really clear on your starting point and come to terms with it. Stop seeing it as a bad thing, the enemy or a problem. It just ‘is’. Ok?

Now visualise how you would prefer things to be. What does that look like? More importantly, what does it feel like? What emotional state is connected to your desired outcome? Calm? Happy? Safe? Relaxed? Confident?

Baby steps

Now look at the gap between here and there, and make a rough pathway between the two. For example, between smoking 20 a day and quitting you may see ‘smoking 10 a day’, ‘only buying X supplies per week’, ‘limiting the times you smoke’, etc. before finally making the ultimate decision to stop and step into a new identity as a non-smoker.

Or with behaviours, you may be at the end of your tether and want to feel relaxed, so you step through self care, calming your mind, managing your emotions, setting boundaries, holding them, making declarations and following through, and letting go of control before you get to a realisation that others are changing around you.

Mind map

Use a mind map to note down the areas of your life and how you feel about them. Draw a circle with you in the middle, then concentric circles outward for body, home, family, work, social life, health, wealth, spirituality, fun, etc.

Then colour code the circles red for ‘urgent attention needed’, orange for ‘pay attention’ and green for ‘go – all good’.

The key to effective change is this: accept where you are right now, commit to change in order to feel better, and then take action and move forward step by step.

Make October the month you made it happen – you know you can!